The Life You Keep Putting Off: How Indirectness Keeps You Waiting for Happiness

Did you know that only 1 in 5 workers worldwide are engaged in their work?

According to Gallup's State of the Global Workplace 2026 report, that leaves 80% of employees who are either not engaged or actively disengaged in what they do.

I find that extraordinary when I consider how much of our lives we spend working.

We study for years, build careers, earn money and work towards a future where we imagine having the freedom to finally do what we enjoy.

But why does enjoyment so often become something we are working towards rather than something we expect to experience along the way?

This question became particularly relevant to me this morning.

A recent change in our circumstances has given my husband and me an unexpected opportunity to reconsider what comes next. With significantly less financial pressure, we have greater freedom to choose how we want to live and work.

For many people, that might sound like an opportunity to stop working.

The interesting thing is that neither of us wants to.

We both enjoy working.

This morning, we went for a walk in the rain. We wandered through the neighbourhood, chatting about whatever came to mind and noticing changes in the gardens, trees and houses around us. There was something wonderfully easy about walking together without needing to rush home or get somewhere else.

Afterwards, we shared breakfast and coffee.

Later, I enjoyed connecting with family, reflecting on the progress people make through coaching and publishing another article. I felt excited about the work I was doing and the possibilities beginning to emerge for my business.

There was no particular urgency. Just the pleasure of enjoying what was happening.

What struck me was how much of the life I want for the next twenty or thirty years was already present in those ordinary moments.

Health. Connection. Meaningful work. Enjoyment. Freedom to choose.

Our circumstances have changed, creating new opportunities. However, the things that made this morning enjoyable were not things we needed to wait for retirement to experience.

This brings me back to a conversation I have with teenagers remarkably often.

They tell me they need good grades so they can get a good job, earn good money and eventually have enough freedom to pursue their passion.

Each step sounds reasonable.

But when I follow that chain of decisions, I cannot help wondering why the passion has to wait until the very end.

When everything we do is preparing us for something else, when do we actually begin living the life we want?

Indirectness Is Choice Leading Somewhere Else

In my work coaching teenagers, I often hear how they imagine their future and the steps they believe they must take to get there.

A young person explains that getting good grades is important because they want to attend university, complete a qualification or secure a good job. When we explore why that matters, they talk about earning good money, becoming financially independent and eventually having the freedom to do the things they enjoy.

It is often at this point that their enthusiasm becomes noticeable.

They begin describing the experiences and interests they genuinely want to pursue. Perhaps they love music, want to travel, enjoy being creative or dream of building something of their own.

Yet these are the very things they have placed at the end of a long sequence of achievements.

I find this fascinating because the goals are rarely unreasonable. Education opens opportunities. Qualifications develop capability. Employment provides income, experience and financial security.

My own career began in science before I moved into education, coaching and business. I understand the value of learning, commitment and developing expertise over time.

What interests me is the assumption that the steps along the way must be completed before enjoyment can begin.

Chris Duncan, author of You're Not Broken, teaches about negative vision patterns that can influence the choices we make. One of these is Indirectness, where we become focused on achieving something because we believe it will eventually lead us to what we really want.

This is the pattern I recognise in conversations about future careers.

A teenager wants freedom, but believes they must first achieve the grades, qualification, job and income that will eventually provide it. The steps become so important that the original desire is pushed further into the distance.

Worthwhile goals often require preparation and sustained effort. However, becoming a doctor doesn't mean someone must postpone their curiosity about medicine until graduation.

Wanting to work creatively doesn't require someone to wait until creativity becomes their profession.

There are opportunities to develop the interests, skills and experiences we value while continuing to work towards longer-term goals.

The future we are working towards should not require us to abandon everything we enjoy about the present.

When Happiness Belongs to the Next Milestone

Indirectness can become a way of organising our entire lives.

Someone may accept a job they dislike because it pays well and promises greater financial security. They plan to stay until they have enough savings to pursue something more meaningful. Yet as their income increases, so do their commitments, and the amount they believe they need before making a change continues to grow.

Another person may postpone travel until the mortgage is paid, the children finish school or retirement becomes financially possible.

These may be sensible decisions. Financial commitments are real, and there are times when we need to make sacrifices to protect our wellbeing or support others.

However, there is a difference between consciously choosing a temporary sacrifice and repeatedly postponing the experiences that make life meaningful.

Psychologist Lora Park and her colleagues explored this distinction in their research, Happiness—To Enjoy Now or Later? Consequences of Delaying Happiness and Living in the Moment Beliefs.

They examined the belief that working hard and sacrificing enjoyment today will lead to greater happiness in the future, alongside the belief that opportunities for happiness can be experienced in the present. Their findings suggest that these beliefs influence how people feel while pursuing goals, with delaying happiness associated with greater negative emotion in some aspects of goal pursuit.

I find this relevant because we often imagine achievement and enjoyment as separate stages.

Work hard now. Enjoy life later.

We pursue a better salary, a promotion or greater financial security, believing that reaching the next milestone will finally give us permission to relax.

Sometimes it does. At other times, we quickly identify something else we need to achieve before we can feel satisfied.

The destination keeps moving.

Achievement itself is not the problem. I love setting goals, developing ideas and seeing what becomes possible through effort and commitment. What concerns me is the belief that enjoyment must remain conditional on completing the next stage.

We can become extraordinarily capable at achieving things without becoming equally capable at enjoying what we have created.

I wonder how often we consider the price we are paying along the way. Someone may achieve the career and financial security they wanted, yet arrive exhausted, disconnected from the people they love or uncertain about what brings them happiness. The achievements are real, but so are the experiences they may have sacrificed to reach them.

What we gain at the destination may not replace everything we gave up along the way.

When Enduring Becomes a Way of Living

There is another aspect of Indirectness that I encounter in my work, and it extends beyond careers, money and achievement.

People can become so convinced they must endure something difficult to reach a better future that they stop questioning whether their present experience could be different.

Consider someone who dreads going to work each morning. They may feel frustrated, exhausted or disconnected from what they do, yet continue telling themselves that things will improve when they earn more money, receive a promotion or reach retirement.

Someone else may remain in an unhappy relationship, believing that connection will improve when the other person changes or the pressures of everyday life eventually settle.

Others may spend years living with emotional distress, concentrating much of their energy on avoiding uncomfortable situations, preventing conflict or managing what they fear might happen next.

These situations are not identical. Some circumstances require professional support, financial preparation or practical changes that cannot be made immediately. Emotional distress is real, and deeply established patterns can take time and support to change.

What connects these experiences is the possibility that life becomes organised around enduring the present in the hope of reaching a different future.

In my coaching work, I am interested in what someone wants to create alongside understanding the difficulties they are experiencing.

If someone wants to feel less anxious, I am also interested in what greater confidence might allow them to experience. If a person is frustrated by conflict, I want to explore what respectful communication and meaningful connection could look like.

These questions introduce possibilities beyond the immediate problem.

Psychologist Amy Wrzesniewski and researcher Jane Dutton explored how people can actively shape aspects of their work in Crafting a Job: Revisioning Employees as Active Crafters of Their Work.

Their work proposes that people can influence the meaning they experience through changes in tasks, relationships and the way they understand their contribution.

I find this an important reminder that creating something different doesn't always require leaving everything behind.

Someone who wants meaningful work may begin exploring the contribution they genuinely want to make, rather than waiting until retirement to pursue it. Someone who wants stronger relationships may begin creating opportunities for connection, instead of waiting for circumstances to become less demanding. Someone who wants greater confidence may begin developing it through experiences that matter to them, even while uncertainty remains.

These choices don't require every difficulty to disappear. They begin with recognising what we want and taking action that moves us directly towards it.

We can spend years learning to endure a life we don't enjoy, or we can begin making choices that create one we do.

Creating a Life Worth Living Along the Way

This brings me back to our walk in the rain.

A recent change in our circumstances has given my husband and me an unexpected opportunity to reconsider what comes next. With greater financial freedom, we can begin imagining the next twenty or thirty years with fewer obligations influencing our decisions.

What surprises me is that neither of us wants to stop working.

We enjoy what we do. We enjoy learning, solving problems, contributing and having something meaningful to pursue. The opportunity to make different choices has made me even more curious about what I love and how I want to spend my time.

This morning gave me a glimpse of what that could look like.

We went walking in the rain, chatting about whatever came to mind. We noticed changes in the neighbourhood, the gardens, the trees and the houses around us. There was no hurry to get somewhere else, and I enjoyed the simple experience of being outside, moving my body and sharing time together.

Afterwards, we sat down for breakfast and coffee, continuing our conversation without needing to rush into the next thing.

Health has always been one of my priorities, and I want to feel strong, capable and well enough to enjoy the next twenty or thirty years. Yet this morning reminded me that looking after my health is already something I enjoy. Walking, observing nature and having time to connect are experiences I want to continue making room for.

Later, I enjoyed a conversation with my daughter, reflected on the progress people have made through coaching and published another article. I found myself talking enthusiastically about the changes I have witnessed in people and the satisfaction of seeing them discover what they are capable of.

I love these conversations.

I love exploring why people behave the way they do, noticing the patterns that influence their choices and developing ideas that help them discover something different. Writing gives me another opportunity to explore those ideas, make connections and share what I am learning.

As I published my latest article, I could feel the excitement of creating something that matters to me.

I want more of that.

More time to think, write and develop the work I love. More opportunities to connect with people and contribute in ways that feel meaningful. More space to explore what my business could look like, feel like and become.

I am beginning to recognise the experiences I want to build my future around by paying attention to the ones I already enjoy.

I explored a similar discovery in The Joy of New Possibilities, where I reflected on the excitement that can emerge when we begin imagining what an unfamiliar future might offer.

Today, those possibilities feel more tangible.

We still have decisions to make, and I don't know exactly what our next chapter will look like. But I am enjoying the opportunity to discover it through the choices I am making now.

This morning wasn't extraordinary. There was a walk in the rain, breakfast and coffee, a family conversation and work that brought me genuine satisfaction.

Yet these are the experiences I want my future to contain.

I am discovering the life I want to create by choosing to enjoy more of it today.

Start Choosing Here

Perhaps there is something you have been working towards for years because you believe it will eventually give you the freedom, happiness or fulfilment you want.

The goal may be worthwhile. The effort may be necessary.

But have you made the experience you want something you continually postpone?

Think about what you genuinely want from the life you are working so hard to achieve.

Perhaps it is greater freedom, meaningful work, connection, confidence or the opportunity to pursue something you love.

What do you actually want, and how can you begin creating it today?

You may still need to study, work, save, prepare or meet important responsibilities. Those commitments can remain part of your future without becoming conditions that prevent you from experiencing what matters now.

The life you keep putting off may be the life you could begin creating today.